It Happened Last Night
By EARL WILSON
July 19, 1972

Girls Sweeten Jack E....

Fat Jack E. Leonard, the Sultan of Insult, who pretends to be very hard, took his stepdaughters Wanda, 10; Brenda, 9; and Linnda, 8, to dinner at Danny's Hideaway, where the little girls had a wonderful time discovering the ladies' room.

"Twenty-three dollars for hamburgers today - and look at them eat!" he exploded good-naturedly. "Potato chips and cheeseburgers cost me a fortune. I get so mad at 'em I could kill 'em.

"I got a hunting horn I use in my act. They lost the mouthpiece. WELL!" But he grinned. "I found it."

They began what Jack E. calls "a con job on the old man," taught them undoubtedly by their mother.

"HAVE YOU heard our daddy's new album?... “Did you notice how slender our is?... “Our daddy was nice enough to buy us a magazine with the Osmond Brothers' picture on it."

"TWO magazines" thundered Our Daddy. "Two of 'em had to have their own."

"WE'RE IN LOVE with the Osmond Brothers. We sent away $1 to get a picture. "You used to be in love with David Cassidy," bellowed Our Daddy.

"He's too old for us to marry."

Fat Jack and their mother, the former Gladys Westling, watched as they rushed off to the ladies' room together. "When they get big," Jack E. Leonard promised, his chins shaking, "they're going to open a chain of ladies' rooms!"

BACK TO TOP